The Inscrutable Work Ethic

bluespringsOne of the great questions good parents ask generation after generation is, “How do I instill a work ethic in my child?”

The two fold answer is simple, “Model one for your child that he can copy, and be consistent.” In other words, “This is what I do, and what I expect from you every day.”  The every day part is usually the tough part.

Part of going to school at the Garden School means a daily dose building life skills, and that includes developing a work ethic. As an example, the privilege of going into my classroom at recess belongs to my Kindergarten. One of my classroom free-time rules is simple. “If you go into my classroom to accomplish a task like building a train track, looking at my collection of geography books, or even cleaning the board, and you fail to do one of those things, which is part of the production, then you don’t belong in my room. Find something else to do out of my room.”  The privilege is for those children who are developing a work ethic. No work ethic, no privilege. I think this teaches children many good lessons.

It’s not unlike my reading class.  All the Kindergarten children were issued a school bag with all the supplies they would need to do some fifteen minute lessons at home. They were issued little readers, the laminated words to go with those readers, crayons, pencils, a sharpener, a laminated writing page, and their name written properly to copy. Every week in school, we work on learning to read. Those children who have gone home since August and practiced for a few minutes three or four times a week learned to read easily and are now reading on a first or second grade level. Those children who did not practice at home for a few minutes three or four times a week are not so advanced.

What parents need to remember is that the window of opportunity for reading opens for most children around four and five. Most children show they are ready by being interested. Most children love to learn to read, and happily figure it out quickly. Even children who do not have help at home still manage to figure it out if they are interested and then WORK at it.

Work, work, work…are we always interested in work? Of course not, but those children who have put at least the minimum effort into the everyday work have found that they have learned something of value. Because my Kindergartners are so young, some being four, this is often the first great lesson in developing a work ethic. By putting in a child’s effort a few times a week, the lesson learned is: If I work this much, I get this much. 

Consistency is also a big part of learning a work ethic. Every day is not a friendly expression to a lot of children and many adults. We are promised by Hollywood that the constant search for recreation in a sea of work calling is a good thing. That Hollywood lure often overrides the best intentions. Dishes sit; laundry is in piles on the floor; bills wait; the refrigerator is a vacant place, so dinner is bought too many times in a row…kind of matches the toys scattered all over the house, the lights and TV left on, the toilet unflushed, the bath towels lingering… and the homework not done. Children are watching and learning whether it’s a good model or a poor one.

Sometimes the most effective help for those bitterly resented chores is the clock.  When parents expect that children will get up, get dressed, make their beds, brush their hair and teeth and get their supplies together BEFORE they come to the breakfast table where breakfast is served at a particular time, the work gets done. When the same schedule of work is completed BEFORE the TV set is turned on or the video games commence after school, the advantage goes to the work. I remember not setting places at the table for my kids if their toys were not cleaned up before dinner.

How often at work, at home, even in public places do YOU simply do what needs to be done because the task has not been done by the assigned person? Every Sunday at Mass, when we leave, people drop the doors of the church on each other. Every single Sunday at Mass, Terry, who is perhaps the 40th or 50th person out the door will stop and engage the door stop.  People with strong worth ethics do things like this. They bring their carts back, they hold doors, they watch out for the elderly, and they always get into the right line with the right payment plan. You can depend on people with a work ethic. They always do their work; they are always there to do their work; their work is always completed. That means, they often have legitimate time to spend in meaningful play.

The real weevil in the absence of a work ethic is the child or adult who constantly makes excuses for why something can’t, wasn’t, isn’t, and probably won’t be done. It takes more energy and thought to design an excuse for not doing the assigned task than it does to simply do it on time every time.

My favorite classroom excuse goes something like this:

“We didn’t have time to do my homework last night.”

“Did you watch TV last night?”

“Yes.”

“Did you play video games last night?”

“Yes.”

“Well if you did those things, why didn’t you spend some time doing your homework?”

“My mom wouldn’t let me.”

One of the lessons I learned as a young mother was to get up first; get dressed first; have the day started before the family got up. I learned early that every single task was worth doing well each and every time, on time, and completed, whether it was tying a shoe or writing a novel…

When all is said and done, those children who develop a work ethic because they see all that it produces in life for them will be the winners. Those who miss the opportunity to work hard as young children will always struggle to work hard, because the window of opportunity is open in these years to establish work as a priority and recreation as a reward.