It’s time to start another year of preschool, and parents who have children in day care are excited to get children out of day care and into a learning environment. But some kids aren’t ready for preschool because they are still developmentally two, and they need to catch up to that magic number three before preschool will “fit” properly. Now what does that mean? Let me begin at the beginning.

An infant is an infant for about a year. During this first year, children learn some primary and ultra important things that will stay with them all their lives…or be missing all their lives. One of those things is safety. The arms of a constant loving adult is crucial to forming a child. The feeling of inclusive, stable, safe, and secure is primary to the human psyche. If children have too many care providers, have too many changes or who are not loved, they grow up with a steady stream of doubt. Security builds a strong independent child who believes in himself.

When a child begins to walk, he is no longer an infant. He’s a toddler. A toddler’s sole interest is movement. Every toddler should be allowed to run as much as he can every day. Running is often hard on parents, but through constant movement, a child is learning how his body works. He is learning how the world works around him as he runs to explore and discover. When parents allow a child to move, they have the advantage of actively teaching the word “no,” which is the primary command a child needs to know inside and out in that second year.

Movement that encourages physical strength, hunger, agility, all promote kinds of learning that help little guys grow up thinking and doing, and ultimately they will make a parent’s life so much easier. It’s a lot easier for a child to climb into his car seat to be buckled, than a child who can’t. Hunger will discourage picky eaters, agility will allow a parent to take a child more places, because a child will be able to handle stairs, escalators, chairs, pews and other adult obstacles.

In the third year…age two to three…when the child has developed his body a little, the next step is to teach him to sleep in a big bed, use the toilet, dress himself, sit and eat at the table without spilling or making a mess. A child needs to learn to talk, to wait in line, to stand with an adult without clamoring to be picked up or bolting in a parking lot. He needs to be able to pick up most of his toys and know how to put things away.

He learns to rely on a schedule that makes him feel safe and addresses all his needs. Children who go to bed at the same time will get enough rest and will usually rise at the same time. Children who have a regular meal plan and regular meal time will have the energy and vitality to get through the day without meltdowns and erratic naps. Children who are reminded to use the toilet will not have as many accidents. “We always use the toilet before we leave the house.”

Now, with all this accomplished, the next step is preschool. The difference between day care and preschool is only one enormous thing…listening. Great parents constantly talk to their child and expect their child to not only respond, but to engage them in real conversation. By using the word “what” instead of “why” (because a child younger than six does not have the cognitive skills to wrap their minds around why) when talking to a young child, children will understand more and begin to take an intellectual interest in the world.

The most important thing a child learns in a good preschool is how to listen. When a child has learned the word “no” and has learned to follow the directions that taught him to use the toilet, dress himself, eat at a table, and pick up his toys, he is ready to learn to listen to a story without interrupting or making himself the center of attention. He is ready to abandon tandem play and begin to play with another child. He is ready to make friends for keeps and earn the respect of his teachers for his efforts.

A good preschool recognizes that a three, four or five year old child needs a lot of activities that show him more of the world than he can get at home. There should be a good structure with lots of varying activities. Toys should be abundant, art activities should be both a learning process and a creative outlet. Stories should make children laugh, and recess should be regular and physical. Then, and only then, will the work done at home be hand in hand with the work of the preschool.

Is my child ready to listen? Is he ready to listen to learn? That’s the question.

This week in school, one of our little guys won a prize for Geography. He is just five, and is reading, and he actually studied the political maps sent home and came to school with the ability to find countries on the big map by both instinct and what he had taught himself. By all standards, this is what most teachers would call excellence.

Excellence is going beyond the next guy, and making what could be left as ordinary – something better. There is competition involved, but the competition is ultimately with the self. And that drive and ambition is what makes one student stand out among the others.

One of the things I enjoy about Jacob’s excellence is that he is hyperactive. This totally natural child (un-medicated by the grace of God and the good sense of his parents) has at his disposal an incredible physical energy which from time to time allows him to compete with himself at high speeds to a great advantage over his classmates..

Learning to strive for excellence is not an easy thing to do off the ball field. Many teachers would be more concerned that Jacob doesn’t sit in his chair, or that his bag full of school stuff is usually scattered near and far, and that he is always talking. Dealing with his hyperactivity would be more than most teachers want to put up with, but as a hyperactive myself, I look at the energy as a blessing and a vehicle for his ability to stretch to excellence.

Excellence in the classroom is not something we focus on much any more. We are afraid that those who don’t excel might have their feelings hurt, so school work is pretty dull and lacking creativity on a daily basis. It’s easier to keep a steady pace of dull than to make it a possibility that some children might grasp the essence of creativity in all they do and produce work that would challenge even a teacher.

The stretch to excellence comes from a desire to both please and know. When the desire to please an adult, a child is fond of, dissipates into the pure desire to know, to understand, excellence is often the next reach.

First, the child has to believe he can…can do the things the teacher and the parent says he can do. That means the adult has to constantly challenge the child. That takes many teachers off their track. Looking at the material that needs to be taught, a teacher may grind the lessons into a semi-palatable dull curriculum that every child can accomplish by the end of the year….but what if the teacher asked, “What are the possibilities here…what COULD they accomplish if we make this curriculum a daily challenge?” How far could they go and what could they achieve…not all the same, mind you, but still better than dull.

When school started this year, our Jacob was un-corralled.  He had never been given the task of achieving both academic discipline and production simultaneously in his brief life. But neither had the other children. The teacher’s job here was to both instill a love of doing and achieving every single day…discipline, and production…you can do this.

Discipline and production every single day…wow…from a five year old…expected. And he did it most days…that’s why he can read a map, a book, and ask intelligent questions. This kid is not sucking his thumb in a corner and napping all afternoon. When he got his prize…a giant blow up globe…his first thought was to tell me all the places he knew. Places most of his friend’s parents probably couldn’t find!

Now look in the mirror and ask yourself: did I expect discipline AND production from myself today? Now go to your Facebook and see how many of your friends weaseled out of those two things today with all to frequent cop outs…it’s amazing how many people think it’s OK to weasel.

Excellence, on the other hand, is produced by grasping the energy we have and adding the desire to know and to find satisfaction in the acquisition of knowledge and to do something with it. Anyone CAN do this but it takes what we call discipline. Jacob,like many of classmates, has developed  that discipline. We are proud of him, but more than that he is proud of his achievement. He’s an excellent student and a fine young man.

Here is a wonderful site that I have enjoyed for years. It’s a complete healthy food eating site that is well set up. makes sense, and is easy to read. For all of you, and that includes me…who are trying to shed the Christmas pounds with the idea that summer suits look a lot better sans Christmas pounds…here’s a site well worth going to and enjoying.   WHF

Today is our first day of school. Please remember to dress children for active play. That means short shorts, shirts with sleeves, socks and shoes. Please do not send children in buckle shoes, dresses, or sleeveless clothes!

We will be eating breakfast at 8:30 and starting school at 9:30.

Lunch will be spaghetti and meatballs and fresh fruit.

Have a great day!