Charles came to school nearly naked today. That’s OK; we’re learning what time schedules are, and Charles, by way of bad habits, missed his “window of dressing” and was removed from the house with one sock dangling from his left foot. It was the most he could (would) accomplish in an hour.
He’s hungry too; too bad. Mom will have to pay extra for his breakfast at school this morning which she will take out of his allowance next week. He left his picture on the table unfinished — well he wasn’t wearing any pockets, so what’s the point?
The point is, Chucky won’t do that again. He’ll be dressed and ready for school with few complaints for a long time — maybe forever. Too harsh? Too severe? Well that depends on whether you think a routine morning battle is good for everyone in the family.
Morning has always been the make or break of the day. Parents who care will tell you that. In past times I barely remember, it was light when we got up. Breakfast was a cooked meal. People spoke in the morning, and could walk, in a reasonable time, to nearly anywhere they had to go.
Times have changed, we all know that, and not for the better, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up all the amenities and all the benefit of a good morning routine. Anyone can create a good morning; it takes a little engineering.
The first rule of a good morning is a good night’s rest. Go to bed. Establish a good sleep routine. Then, rise at least an hour before your child. It makes all the difference in the world. That morning hour will provide a kind of emotional balance to any adult’s life.
Imagine being able to wake your beloved child with a kiss and a gentle stroking and even a prayer — a little morning offering — together that will give reason for the day. Compare that to harshly turning on a light in what must seem to a child as the middle of the night and yelling, “Michael, get up quick, we only have five minutes till we have to leave.”
In the hour before your child is up, gathering your thoughts, planing for the day, making any last minute family adjustments, writing any notes, packing lunches, and ironing the edging on your child’s little blouse collar makes the details of motherhood a memorable experience for the rest of the day.
Breakfast doesn’t have to be Eggs Benedict; but it shouldn’t be cold pot roast and potatoes, yesterday’s pizza or last week’s chocolate cake simply because a child’s stomach is not a trash can. When children vomit coke, mashed potatoes, and chocolate cake at 7:45, we really need to evaluate our living habits. And breakfast doesn’t have to be eaten on the fly.
Nor does dressing have to be a battle. Think about how many outfits a child can really wear in a two week stretch. Should there be summer and winter clothes in one closet? Should Benji’s baby socks still be in his drawer when he’s four? Should that hideous black leather spider outfit your cousin sent really be an option? Clean out everything your child can’t, won’t, shouldn’t and wouldn’t wear. Fewer choices mean fewer arguments.
Start at night for the next day: straighten rooms, take baths, choose clothes, set up tomorrow’s homework or show and tell. Make these after dinner things to do right before family hour.
And just like mom or dad, a child needs a good night sleep. It’s a good thing to put children to bed early. The children who are day care age who go to bed before eight o’clock have many fewer physical, emotional, behavioral and intellectual problems.