Another good article from Babyfit.

Finding time for fitness or anything else today is really difficult. Busy parents just don’t have time. Doing small things makes a lot of sense. They say small periods of activity are just as good as the long work outs.

Q: I am a working mom with an 11-year-old daughter. I sit all day at work, get home and help her do her homework, cook dinner, get her in the shower, and then get ready for bed. I feel I have no time to exercise. How can I fit exercise into my day?

Try to add some walking during your lunch break. It doesn’t have to be long— even 15 to 20 minutes would help increase your fitness level. You could also add some strength training while your daughter is working on homework, using a resistance band or hand weights. Also, you could try a prenatal fitness video several times a week. Could you work out during a 30-minute break in the evening three times a week? You could even try to add the exercise video on two nights and walk outside on the weekend.

There are lots of great stretches you can do in your chair at work too. Every hour, twist gently side to side. Also, you can bring your arms behind your head with your elbow out to the side and stretch gently side to side or stretch your arms overhead in small circles. To stretch your neck, slowly tip your chin down towards your chest, then tip your chin up and side to side. To stretch your calf, extend one leg out with your heel down and toes pointed up.

Catherine Cram, M.S.Owner for Comprehensive Fitness Consulting LLCAuthor of Fit Pregnancy for Dummies (Wiley Publishing, Inc. 2004)

One more crazy week before break. It seems like summer just started! We’ve had a lot of fun and I think the kids who learned to swim, and that’s most of them, have learned something really precious they will cherish always.

I’m thinking we could swim this winter as well since most of our kids know how!

Some of the quieter kids, like Justin and Morgan and Madison and Jasmine have been my real delight because they always let the older and louder kids get the limelight, and this time their attempt to swim has been truly a spectacular effort.

Justin’s grandparents came to watch and were surprised at how well he did. Flinging one’s body into deep water over the head and then continuing to stroke another ten yards into possible danger and then turning around and swimming back is “knowing how to swim.”

Wednesday we might go to the Fair. Then it’s the big trip on Friday to the lake. Please let us know if you want to cook out or if you want regular summer lunch.

Today is board day. We’ll take as many kids to the board as want to go.

New thing! On Thursday we are distributing summer report cards. These were developed by Miss Kelly. We were talking about how important our summer program is, and how our regular report card did not cover it properly, so Kelly developed a summer one. This will be part of a child’s official record.

The pictures were taken by Miss Kelly.

Friday was an outstanding pool day. Five more notches in the handle of success.

Morgan passed her swim test with flying, and I do mean flying colors as she flung herself into the water from the edge of the pool.

Madison passed hers with a wash tub steady stroke and an athlete’s breathing – huff, huff, huff.

Jasmine was long and graceful as she sped into the water and then in mermaid fashion glided back to the edge of the pool.

MJ struggled a little but made the edge before going down. Then he decided it was fun and he spent the rest of the day jumping in and speeding back to the pool side only to jump in again.

Kaito, like Morgan, flung himself into the pool and then with a proper real stroke made his way back to pool side and then spent a lot of time under the water. He’s a real little pro.

That makes 23 swimmers so far.

The pool was really warm and wonderful and we hurried back to school before the storm. By 3:00 it was a tropical hurricane at school. The children all played quietly, and the bigger children were fascinated by the lack of light and the bend of the trees.

This morning the tomato plants were all down and after an hour of pulling weeds and tying up the plants, the garden looks like it was never hit by torrential down pours.

One more week before break. We’ve been invited to the fair. More about that later.

This is really a beautiful letter and one I’ll treasure always:

I have one of the “not-so-well-behaved” children at the GS who has missed more than one field trip because of his attitude & behavior issues. Tis life! In the words of Pink Floyd… “if you don’t eat your meat, you don’t get any pudding”. Has this caused problems with our work schedules?! You bet it has!!! Has it caused us to get our feathers ruffled?! Guaranteed!!! Have we been more than aggravated over minor changes in policy, discipline, etc?! Darn tooting we have!!! But we got over it & moved on! We love the GS & the teachers! They have meant so much to us & our child.

They have pulled more than a few hairs out over him… but they have never given up on him. Instead they got him reading on a 2nd grade level, doing addition & subtraction that several 2nd graders couldn’t do, learning seas & countries of the world, memorizing & delivering lines for plays, teaching him songs that he’s done solo in church, etc. That’s not to bad for a 5 year old.

Thank God my child is not a “cookie cutter child” & that he’s not normal! I’m sure we’ll have lots of problems to overcome in his lifetime, but hopefully the individuals working with him at that time will be like Mrs. Judy, Mrs. St. Louis, Mrs. Kelly, Mrs. Molly & Mr. Tom… & find a way to work with him. I don’t know what he’ll be someday or what he’ll do, but it gives me great pleasure knowing that Einstein was a “problem child” who hit his sister often & bothered his teachers immensely. You see… there is hope for “problem children”.

BTW… Ty will be leaving the Garden School next week to start “big school”. He’ll be going in the first grade. His little brother, Ian, will be 3 the end of September & we’re sending him to the GS as soon as he master’s the potty. 🙂

Having had a difficult boy child as well, I understand the problems, the worry, the grief a poorly behaved child can cause at home, but there is a difference, and the home is the difference.

My son and this little boy come from loving and caring homes. This child like my own need to hit the age of reason to mend their ways.

My son is now 34 and as a chosen profession builds machines that treat otherwise untreatable cancers. The machines are called Proton Therapy Units. Last night he told me that the one his team has just finished building in Jacksonville is treating a lot of prostate cancers. I asked him what was wrong with that, and he said there is only so much time on the machine, and when prostate cancers are treated the really important illnesses, like pediatric cancers, have to wait, and that is a moral issue.

I’m really proud of my son, and the family who so kindly wrote this letter will be proud of their child as well. Loving families do have loving children even if it takes a while.

Their child is brilliant. He’s bored most of the time and that’s his problem. He needs constant stimulation, but he doesn’t always have the facility to use the information he gains through observation, or innate intelligence. It’s like dancing. He appreciates the dance steps, but he can’t quite move to the music. That intellectual coordination takes time.

No matter what field he decides to tackle, he will do it with a difference and a joy that will make him great. He’s as bold as they come; now let’s think about who was bold: Columbus, Lewis and Clark, Beethoven, Picasso, George Washington, Lincoln, Mother Theresa…

Looking forward to #2. We will finish the training, so bring him on.

A reader thoughtfully writes:

I had considered enrolling my child in the Garden School, but I am now having second thoughts. You continually put down children who, though aren’t the “cookie cutter” perfection that you’re looking for, are very bright and teachable. I don’t believe that my child will have behavior issues when enrolled in school. I don’t, however, want them ridiculed if they don’t fit your plan.

Another parent writes:

Anonymous…I disagree with your thought that kids must fit into the “cookie cutter” model to go to GS. The exact opposite is true. My daughter did not fit into “the box”. We took to 3 of the “top” places in Evansville and Newburgh. Each place said that she did not fit into there place. We then tried the Garden School because a close friend was taking their child there as well. We are SO thankful for this. Our daughter has now discovered her potential and she continuously strives to learn more and more each day.

After just a few weeks at GS, we discovered why she did not “fit in” at the other places. She wants to learn and do more, not just be there. The other places were correct that she did not “fit into” their programs, because they did not want to do anything extra that might cause them more work or to challenge a child to meet their potential your child is eager to learn and have a blast while doing it, and you do not take them to the garden school, you will punish the child without reason.

Also, not everyday is always the dream day for your kid (is your’s). But I would say that 18 of the average 20 days will be wonderful at the GS. But this will decrease if your child is not ready to succeed everyday. And as a parent, your child will get more of the GS if you personally put effort into the school. If you notice in the name and most of what I have been typing, “school” is used. Nowhere is daycare used. If you’re looking for a daycare, do the others kids at the GS a favor and not bring your child. But if you are looking for a learning environment for your child to build and succeed from, your child should be at the Garden School.

If you would like to talk in more detail, contact Judy and ask her for P.S.’s father’s phone number.

What a lovely tribute. Truthfully, we don’t believe there are cookie kids. Every child is like a full meal. Sometimes it’s pate, Cesar Salad, and Rack of Lamb Indonesia with peanut butter sauce and a conclusion of peaches flambe. Sometimes it’s franks and beans with a dessert of Hostess cupcake. For the most part the menu changes every few weeks. Today we’re bologna, tomorrow cordon bleu.

The child who didn’t fit into 3 other places is a remarkably bright child with a personality comparable to the Devil wears Prada. Edith and I saw that movie and we came away liking the character of Merel Streep very much. She was demanding, aggressive and creative.

The whole point of early childhood is to discover the child as he discovers his world. But sometimes a child who “doesn’t fit in” doesn’t fit in because there are desperate problems.

Here are some of the behaviors we’ve worked with over the years: one child tried to burn the school down. One child pulled a knife on is mother and tried to stab her on the way to school. One child spread poop all over the school. One child urinated all over the school. We’ve had children who have stolen money, food, other children’s personal effects. We’ve had children who swore profusely during prayer time. About ten years ago we had a sexual predator child. We had a child who, we were told by two psychologists, would never normalize and would have to be institutionalized. She entered second grade normally, but the work to get her there was incredible PBTG.

At one time there was no help for kids like these, so we took them in. And some of these children became our favorite kids. One desperately needy child stood in the kitchen and like DH Lawrence told me in such beautiful description what it was like to be on anti psychotic drugs.

The student body at the Garden School have always been bright children, eager and ready to learn, each one a delight, a separate special individual lovable to his toenails! Why should a desperate problem in the classroom take their teachers away hours out of the day when there are better and more successful places to give the special needs child the special needs he deserves?

This year at the GS, we have some budding engineers, some interested musicians, some lyricists, some poets, some fine artists, some entertainers, some dancers and some social butterflies. That’s where we want to put our efforts – not into the same basic bottom line discipline ad infinitum ad nauseum.

Today we took 30 children to the pool. It was a calm peaceful day with an ordered lunch, and a nice stay at the park. Here’s the difference: A really difficult child spends his day running into the deep end and then fighting and kicking the life guards who have to pull him out. He tries to bolt out of the pool and into the street. He pushes the little children under the water, and will disappear only to return having stolen other people’s toys. Is this what we want at the GS?

The Garden School does not ridicule children. We remind children what it means to operate in a manner that leads to leadership. Leadership is not cut from a cutter. It’s learned and taught in a loving SAFE and caring place. We hope we’re that.

Yesterday was a real eye opening day for us. For years the GS has had its share of poorly behaved children. We’ve taken them in course like everyone else. In fact it came to be a kind of rep we had – “Take the child to the Garden School; they will turn him around.”

Last year we had perhaps the worst child we’ve ever had. We tried everything. The child came to love us, but still would not cooperate. Not wanting to give up, we fought like tigers for the child and then realized that because all the work we did for the child at school went down the drain after 5:00, there was nothing real we could do for him. He came in every morning freshly ready to assault the day, and although we got a lot of lip service, we didn’t get any results.

On Monday, on the spur of the moment, we took two beautiful, sad little kids in. We took them to the pool, to the playground, and to a birthday party. At the end of the day, the energy and time given to these children was so disproportionate, every teacher reported the next day that they had failed to sleep over the care that would be expected the next day.

“How fair is that to the good kids?” I asked. Everyone just stared at the next teacher. “If it were a week of struggle, perhaps it would be worth it, but I see a whole school year spent in formation,” I said to myself. “If we had the staff, it would be worth doing, but suppose it goes like most of these situations,” I mused, “And the support from home becomes a liability as well?”

So often with problem children the problem begins and remains with the parents. Nearly everyone can care for an infant, but the skill to handle a toddler is absent, and the preschooler suffers dramatically because of it. The parent looses heart by the time a child is five, and the behavior is way out of line.

The Garden School is a place where children learn. Learning involves early character, discipline and a desire to listen. We can’t build that after the fact especially if there is no back up, no home life that steers a child in the same direction. If we’re struggling to get a child into the starting position too long, what’s the point?

We could turn the GS into a place for the terribly behaved, the lost, the lonely, the abused, but at what cost and with what assistance? We’ve turned plenty of kids around, and Milestones got the grant. We organized and developed a whole different early childhood order and the Joshua Academy got all the attention.

The Garden School has its own direction. We’re a place where children build the kind of independent study habits that leads them to be leaders and builders of the next generation. Sometimes a child who got off to a poor start will fit in and change, but those who don’t are too much of a liability.

This year, we have not a single poorly behaved child enrolled at the school and I’d like to keep it that way. It will be an exciting year for us.

The pictures are taken by Miss Kelly. She is a fabulous photographer. See how close we were!!

Here’s a letter from a concerned parent. There have been a lot lately and that is very encouraging. It means so much to us. It’s VERY important to us to know what’s in the heart of our most caring parents.

A commentor a few days ago suggested that leaving a staff memeber behind on long field trip days would also help those parents who don’t want to send their child on a field trip through 2 states, over 3 hours one way. I notice this post did not address that issue, other than to say it is “punishing” a staff member to leave them behind. Hmmmm……. More than just the 3 poorly behaved children did not attend the major field trip. My child didn’t go, and my child earned the trip. I feel that the education (classroom teaching) program at GS is first class. It’s the long field trip that bothers me. GS staff know of my reservation and I have gotten the impression that I’m the only person to speak up.

To leave two teachers – liability demands it – and three poorly behaved children and a couple of really good children whose parents are not keen on the long trip would never bode will with the well behaved. It creates a stigma.

When my girls were in sixth grade, they suddenly had to shower in gym with all the other girls. I have never been in favor of communal showering. I hate it. I think it’s degrading and I told my children at the time that they did not have to participate, but I gave them the choice and all of them happily showered with the others. Giving them the choice allowed me to let go. It allowed them to make a decision based on a social order imposed by others. I would never have allowed someone else including the state to make this decision for any of us. But at the same time, if my children decided not to shower with the rest of them for privacy or modesty sake, I would not have wanted them to be alienated either – body odor put aside.

Children stigmatize easily. I wouldn’t want that to happen. So I still maintain that a private solution to the field trip problem is still the best one.

Now about the trip! Our trip to St. Louis was probably the nicest trip we’ve taken in a long time. It was peaceful on the bus, the kids were great, the little guys were happy as clams, and the big children excited about seeing new and exciting things. We passed snacks and drinks and books and toys and chatted and laughed. It was real R&R for a lot of us. I didn’t see a lot of restlessness on the bus which was encouraging.

We stopped at the rest stop on the way and then took off for St. Louis making a record time of 3 hours. We saw the arch which everyone craned their neck to see as the bus traveled the spider web highways. We landed just outside the zoo at a really nice picnic area with a real bathroom. We had a quick lunch and then started off to the zoo.

We saw quite a bit. The zoo is planned around several circular paths designs. There is a cat section and a plains section and a bird house and a money house and a penguin zone and several other areas. The penguin zone was inside and outside. I thought Liz our most abbreviated dressed adult in her size 10 children’s shorts and top was hilarious as she tried to shiver herself warm in the 30 degree temps!

The kids all loved to watch the penguins and then we saw the polar bears. It was not as hot at the zoo as we anticipated. It was actually rather nice with a good breeze. We hiked and hiked and at about 2:00 made a mad dash for the bus.

The children stayed together very well. John led the group and Edith was the the rear gate. We found enough bathrooms along the way, and we spaced food so that we were fairly sure everyone was fed and hydrated as possible. I think the comfort zone was in the A B range. The temperature stayed about 82 degrees and there was a nice breeze.

We each had a whole soda and then got on the bus to go home. We hit some traffic for about 30 minutes and then it was clear sailing back across Illinois and into Indiana.

Thanks to all the parents who came, and especially to Frances who was 77 on Friday.

Thanks to all the parents who so thoughtfully sent drinks and snacks.

It was Peyton’s sister’s birthday. We sang Happy Birthday to Rylee.

The trip back was uneventful. Miss Kelly will send some pictures later and we will post again.

There has been some discussion about the long field trip and behavior and some suggestions concerning some children going and staying at the school in the comments section at the bottom of some of the blog stories.

Here are some things to consider:

The educational plan of the school not only includes but focuses on field trips. Rarely if ever have we taken a “non educational” field trip. In other words, they are a part of our curriculum. These trips help to educate our children by an extra means. Children are fully immersed in going and doing. Sometimes what the non observant parent doesn’t see is how much children actually learn from going and doing.

In addition to field trips are student activities like the Thanksgiving play, the St. Patrick’s Day play, the parties, the visit from Santa, Halloween, The Valentine’s Day Dance, Spring Sing and the Awards Day activities.

Over the years, many parents have not been interested in these activities and have either not attended or they have kept their child home. When a parent neglects to come to one of these events, a child is crestfallen. Often parents don’t see that either because “work” is the focus of some parents’ life, and in dialogue we hear this.

The Garden School bends over backwards in planning school activities, scheduling field trips in advance, posting as much information as often as we can. We send out letters, post on the blog, and notify parents by word about upcoming events as regularly as we can. We are always genuinely sorry about oversights and misprints, and they do happen.

At the same time, we are always delighted to welcome parents who want to come along on our field trips so they can enjoy the adventure with their child. There is never a charge.

But to take it one more step – splitting our curriculum – having an alternative activity because of a few children says two things: we are not sure about what we are doing, and what we are doing is not really important.

That’s not how the Garden School is set up.

We are a very small place because we want to know each child as a separate individual person at the primary learning time in their life. Teaching children to swim, being there as they fall down, bolstering up bad days, teaching a concept like addition, geography or science allows a kind of individual knowledge of another person that can’t be made with a larger and impersonal agenda. At the same time, we can go on long trips and do exciting things other places can’t because we do know each and every child.

Three children did not attend our major field trip this year. The actual reasons were: violence toward another child, chronic hysterical performances through the week, and a general refusal to cooperate with any single request. Now the idea of taking these children across two state lines three hours from home is called negligence.

Is this a surprise to parents of desperately poorly behaved children? If a parent does not know his child is in serious daily error, there is a root problem that does not need to be challenged three states away. Every day a child’s behavior is posted. Rarely do some parents even look.

During the year we have what we call the “breaking point.” When a child misbehaves to the point where he is violent toward others, hysterical and unapproachable, and generally refuses to cooperate on any level, we send him home. We put him back into the control of the parent – where he should be. Parents are the primary educators of their children. When chronic bad behavior is not curbed by the parent, teachers have no choice but to send a child home.

This is actually a relief to the exceptional 95% of the students. We can take our 95% anywhere to do anything and it’s a tribute to them, to their choices of behavior and to their parents who teach them at home how to enter the world. Good children will always have to wait for the others. It’s a fact of life, and one they will encounter all the way through school.

As far as a regular school day goes on field trip and party days, the Garden School does not offer a regular school day as part of its curriculum. Every good parent should have a back up situation for ill days, for school holidays and for days when a child can’t go to school – like oral surgery days and sleep deprived days. School is a place to learn; it is not a place to be punished.

As far as teachers go, our staff treasures our out of school learning days. To punish two staff members to stay with poorly behaved children is the kind of thing that causes teacher turnover.

Behavior begins in the home. If a child does not know how to behave, that’s where he should return to learn it. If he needs to return there on field trip days, that’s probably not a bad plan.

It was an interesting day at school. We stayed in most of the day because it was so horribly hot and our teachers felt it was best to make the day as easy as we could because tomorrow will be a long one.

We want to thank Miss Susie for holding down the fort with Edith this morning while Miss Kelly and I went to the new United Way Coalition meeting concerning childcare in Evansville this morning. It was surprising to note how many organizations touch the world of children and how many people showed up this morning interested and concerned with childcare today.

Miss Kelly and I were the only teachers there. I’ve always thought there has always been a division between the powers that run childcare locally and those of us who work in it. It’s like the aristocrats and the serfs. I have always wondered about the division.

The kinds of things these people want to implement in the next twenty years are: a concentration on nutrition and health, a foreign language, a consistency in care, better teachers, better programs, better communication, and a lot of childcare services. Sound familiar?

****

Today was our marker day for the trip tomorrow. Anyone going home today with a third green face took a letter home saying they could not come tomorrow.

Every year we fold on behaviors and end up taking some desperately ill behaved children just because we care. This year we are caring for those who have earned a really nice trip without the trailer of disruptive, disobedient children on the bus. Four children did not make the trip.

As I told one parent, this is not a trip we can easily turn around. If we were going an hour up the road, we could return if we had to, but not three hours away. Besides, I told her, some children earned this trip and your child didn’t. Every child was told that his behavior would determine his going, and he had to make the choice. We spend most of our day guiding children away from poor choices, and when a child knows better than all the good will in the world, he is going to take a big fall.

A parent of one poorly behaved child told me she had to work. The focus of the Garden School is on the child, not the parent. When parents go to work, they can know for sure our first thought is the child in our care. Formation of the child is our first priority. Rewarding terrible behavior is not formative; it’s destructive.

Tomorrow will be HOT. Please dress briefly. If there is a better than 60% chance of rain, we may cancel because of the possibility of dramatic storm and the danger of traveling in such a situation. It’s 50% right now. If we do cancel, we’ll do something else locally – something different and fun.