One day at the grocery store many years ago, I had just come from the baby food isle and had deposited 70 jars of baby food into my cart when a woman stopped me and said, “What is all that for?” I answered that my son ate 10 jars of baby food every day. This very kind and astute woman took me aside and spend half an hour telling me how I could make all of my son’s baby food at home and not have to shell out the 10 cents a jar it was costing me to buy. From that moment on, I became a free woman.

If, I thought, I could make his baby food, then, I thought I could make everything else he ate, and I began the long journey of a scratch cook. I stopped buying instant anything, processed dinner makings and canned food and began buying the ingredients and parts for nearly everything I cooked, and my food costs fell like a stone. I was spending half of what the processed food cost me previously and we were eating so much better — taste, quantity, quality and nutrition factors were satisfied with very little effort. When the other children came along, it was a snap to make just about anything. I even bought a baby food grinder that fit into my purse.

Over the years I’ve experimented with just about every kind of homemade you can think of including making potato chips, cheddaring cheese, yogurt, noodles, and all kinds of breads, candy that’s good for you, and so many other things, it’s hard to post. Right now I’m experimenting with homemade ice cream. It’s fun and it tastes good most of the time. But kitchen experiments take time and patience and a desire to do it. And for those who are reading this and really don’t like cooking, the good news is, cooking begins with the easy stuff and a little equipment and in a short time, one thing leads to another and your children are reaping the health rewards of homemade.

What I’ve learned about cooking over the years is that cooking and a deep sense of emotional trust go hand in hand. The thought behind cooking, the act of cooking, the presentation all seem to develop a kind of communication that encourages children to bridge a deeply needed emotional place that often goes untouched by those parents who offer a diet of convenience food and pre-prepared meals. Making food builds a trust from the very beginning of life. It’s an exchange between mother and child that continues and continues right into adulthood.

It begins in infancy with nursing. Those women who have chosen to breast feed understand the homemade food thing from the beginning. When your own milk feeds your baby, there is a certain kind of joy that creates a deep and lasting bond between mother and child. When your milk first comes in, the child will look up at you and smile. It’s the real miracle of homemade food. So why spoil it like I did with someone else’s jarred food later?

I know when I nursed my son, I was discouraged and looked down on by my doctor and his staff. I continued anyway. Because I was nursing, I was supposed to feed my child cereal and fruit at ten days. It was a nightmare of confusions, but that was a long time ago, and since then I’ve learned a lot. It doesn’t have to be that way; it can be such a wonderful experience.

It’s easy to fall into the formula gig and the jarred food routine because it seems to be easier and more sanitary in a rush, rush, rush world we cater to. People will tell you that it’s better because it’s store bought. But the truth is, it’s not as store bought as factory made with a certain amount of bacteria and foreign objects like rat hair. When you can overlook what’s in store bought for an infant, it graces the path to thinking that dashing something high salt, fat, and nearly not food into the oven, or buying dinner out, or stopping at the drive is a right rather than a treat. Drive in food offers a three day supply of fat for anyone eating it, including children. Constant fast food clogs the arteries and causes pre-mature heart disease. Opening a can, a box, a package and zapping it in the microwave suddenly puts food on the convenience list.

Should food offered a child be a convenience? Only if it’s raw. Food means sustenance, health, care, time, effort and should never seem to be a convenience. It should always be an effort of the heart and hands. If you are thinking, “I don’t have time,” think how much time you spend doing other things that don’t go into your child’s mouth and don’t sustain and nourish his body. Then think about the effort it takes to stop at a drive in. Or think about going to the market and buying very expensive pre-made food? Why not make the more simple effort to make it yourself?

Children are funny and what they see mom do for them creates a whole world of possibilities.

Many women say they just hate to cook. The question to ask then is, “Do you hate to eat as well?” There is a faction of the society who really does hate to eat. These people find eating to be an annoyance and would rather go through life not eating. Someone who hates to eat is not going to like to cook. But for the rest of us, food is usually a real delight. Now what happened in life that causes the love for one and the hatred of the other and can that bridge be repaired for the sake of family, health and that emotional bond once found in the nursing mother and child? It’s possible one step at a time.

There is also the fear of food. Many children are traumatized by food in early childhood because of an incident or an angry spot or a fearful spot in rearing that causes what we call a kindergarten palate. Cleaning your plate by force, having to constantly eat something that’s unpalatable, having fights at dinner time that turn dinner time into a war zone, having bathroom issues that follow forced eating, or being hungry, or even having a yen for something that’s forbidden by a too strict parent can disturb the palate and give eating a disordered role in life.

The primary goal of food is that it becomes a nutritional fun zone. Food should be fun to buy, to make, to eat and finally to reap the nutritional rewards. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or take a tremendous amount of time. The best meals are usually the easy ones. Children don’t require lasagna, Caesar salad and garlic bread. They only require the cheese, the noodles or a bread or cracker substitute and some fresh fruit. Makes a nice homemade easy meal and you really didn’t have to cook – but you did make it yourself.

Plan to cook two meals a week this January. Tune in again for some really easy recipes that will help the emotional food bridges to be rebuilt.

Next time: Cooking for the picky.