Children follow the example of their parents. They are always watching. As very young children, under the age of reason which is about seven or eight, children watch but don’t always get it right. The question to ask ones self is “what is my child seeing me do?”
As a Catholic, I was brought up to ask not only what was I doing at any moment, but at the same time, what was I failing to do or what was I not doing. It’s a good set of questions and covers the whole of ones life. Sins of omission count too!
It’s nearly the Christmas season. That means what? What is my child seeing? Is he seeing me cut corners so that Christmas can be eked out of the usual fare? Or does he see Christmas as something more? Is Christmas a magic time when Less Ismore is sent to his room with a spanking, and More Ismore is returned to center stage and made the king of the party? Children are watching.
For some people, holidays are a time to run from, a time of excuses, a time of I don’t want to because I’m better than the holiday, and my cares, fears, hurts and woes are more important than anything else. Personally, I am not fond of holidays at all, but you can bet I pour more than heart into them and that’s because I am not my first concern – you are.
As a wonderful example to children, the festive “I can do” spirit will eek into their work ethic, their approach to the world, their relationship with other people, their love of humanity, and their ultimate relationship with God. People put limits on everything and that’s a shame. Some things, of course, need limits, but many things are limited because of habit and not thought.
Possibility is the name of the holiday season. What are the teaching possibilities during this season that will stay with my child for a lifetime – that’s the real question for parents to ask. And within every ornament, every card, every bit of tinsel, every smell, every cookie made, the life of the season is either made to shine, or it’s hidden under a bushel basket.
Often it’s a matter of words. “I’m not going…; I got this on sale, sale, sale, sale, cheap, cheap cheap; No, you can’t; Let mommy do it; I won’t; You have enough;” and so many more statements that are huge limits at a time when the table should be filled. Limits are fine sometimes, but if you catch yourself with too many brakes, maybe it’s time to wonder if your child will apply these broken statements to his life. “I’m not going to work; I can only love what’s on sale cheaply; I can’t; Mommy will always do it for me; I don’t have to, and a little is all I deserve.”
No matter what your life philosophy is on a day to day basis, the holidays are meant to suspend some things – remember the quote: Never fast on a Sunday.
Now it’s time to put Less away and bring out More. This week is Thanksgiving. Let your child help you cook. If you are going to grandma’s, ask if your child can come early and help. If you are taking something to eat with you, let your child help make it, and help carry it in. Be careful ;-}
The next week is the start of the Christmas Season. Why not decorate a little at a time and let your child help. Bake cookies at least once, even if it’s store bought dough, and then eat them together. Trace your child’s hands on green paper and make your wreath from his hand prints. You can get green wrapping paper at the $store. Let your child wrap some of the presents. Use comic strip paper if it is still available. Let your child trim your tree with you, and last but not least, take your child with you to shop for the gifts he will give. Open your heart to him, and he will open his heart to others.