Just a few minutes to spend in an otherwise busy busy week and new schedule. With Mrs. St. Louis out, it’s been hard to find time to sit and write. The emotions of having ones best friend ill and surgery pending does not make for the kind of writing life that is productive.

This week I’ve been thinking about how important the third year is – that’s age two. I was at Mass and was watching – couldn’t help it – right in front- a beautiful young couple with a what was obviously a two year old who was obviously the boss.

As I watched this couple struggle with this child, I saw them pass her long legged body from one to the other. I saw the parents take her out of the church and bring her back. I saw them pull her into the pew, fighting and struggling. She moaned, groaned, sniveled, squirmed, and whined. It was a most unhappy experience for the child making it a most unhappy experience for mom and dad.

The one thing I did not see her parents do was tell her “no” in a manner that she would understand was a command and not something to go up against. As a result, the child did as the child pleased. I wondered what went on at home.

The one thing that two year old children need most is a firm”no” when they go beyond the rules. The two year old is reaching in every direction possible and not all directions are for him. If mom and dad fail to say “no” then the child will not learn “no.”

At two, a child needs to learn to speak – that’s why talking to him constantly and telling him what he may and may not do is important. He needs to begin to use words rather than shrieks, tears, actions of destruction, whining or other sounds that he learned in infancy. By using words, a child uses his brain and his body usually follows suit. A thinking two year old is much better behaved than a non thinking one.

A thinking, happy two year old can go anywhere and experience whatever discovery there is for him because he understands that there will always BE something for him because good parents take children places that have something for them. He will look up at his parent who he trusts and ask. A good parent will not expect a two year old to go someplace without something for him.

At church, there is always Mommy or Daddy whispering to him about what is going on, and then he gets to go up with Mommy or Daddy when they go up for Communion. (Not sure what Non Catholics do)

When children do misbehave, and they all do, good parents need to ask themselves about how tired the child is, and if he feels well. Then, if all is right, the child needs to be told in no uncertain terms that he MAY NOT do whatever it is that is misbehavior. He needs to be taken firmly by the arm and told “NO.” It’s a one word command. It should have all kinds of memories for the child so that he quickly stops the poor behavior. He might cry, and he should be allowed to cry for a short time, but not throw a tantrum. Crying should be contrite not demanding.

Two year olds are not easy to deal with. It’s a battle zone for mom and dad. It’s an energy sucking time that leaves everyone exhausted at the end of the day. But the age of two is the most important year of discipline a human being will ever have, and once it’s done, it’s over for good.